Absolute Nonsense
by Gretl517
Summary: The Animorphs are back . . . well, sort of. This is what would happen if the characters were real, reading the books!


Absolute Nonsense  
  
OK, I just felt like writing, so I wrote this zany thing. R/R please!!! This is in no way serious! And no offense to ANYONE, especially not K. A.!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the straightjacket I'm in. Animorphs are Scholastic's and K. A. Applegate's.  
  
Instructions: DO NOT SUE.  
  
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Marco's POV  
  
I closed the book with a snap. I had just finished reading the last of the Animorphs books. They were by a nutty author who called herself K. A. Applegate.  
  
She was my aunt.  
  
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Rachel's POV  
  
This book that I just finished reading was trash! Marco's aunt really isn't the creative genius everyone thinks she is. Just because she wrote about Marco and his friends having these great adventures, her books are so badly written. Still, it was nice being in a book. I just hope that wasn't my fifteen minutes of fame, used up already. Why did she kill me off? That was mean. I always thought I was Ms. Applegate's favorite. Gosh. Just goes to show you that people are unpredictable. I wonder if Cassie's read it yet?  
  
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Cassie's POV  
  
I wiped my eyes. I just read "The Beginning", by K. A. Applegate. That's Marco's aunt. I started crying a few chapter in, and didn't completely stop until now. It was sweet and sappy, but stupid. Come on. Like me and Jake would ever break up like that, me hooking up with some guy named Ronnie, and us not being totally comfortable around each other. Yeah, right. And then the thing that made me cry was the idea of Rachel being dead. Thank goodness Yeerks aren't real—otherwise, I wouldn't have my best friend around. I picked up the phone and dialed Rachel. We chatted for awhile.  
  
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Jake's POV  
Well, Marco's aunt finally ended that stupid series, Animorphs, that was about me, Marco, Ax, Rachel, Cassie, and Tobias. She DID keep my character traits the same as they are in real life, but the plot was completely unbelievable. Us, fighting parasitic aliens? Me sending my cousin Rachel to kill my brother Tom? Please. I'm glad the series was over. I didn't like all the attention I got at school. "Are you the Jake who's the leader of the Animorphs?" kids would come up and ask me. It was so annoying!  
  
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Tobias's POV  
  
I laughed. This was hilarious. And a little sad (the idea of Rachel dying so tragically and stuff). But mostly hilarious. Marco's aunt was so wacky—making me a red-tail hawk and Ax an alien? Ha! And Ax being my uncle and stuff? I have no idea where she got that idea. It's pretty funny, though. Ugh—the worst part was that she informed, like, the whole world of my family situation. At least it's gotten better—my mom came back about a year ago. She was in drug rehab; she didn't have amnesia. But now everyone knows I didn't have a good family for a long time. That's so embarrassing!  
  
I think I'll go call Rachel, to see if she's read about her "death" yet.  
  
Man, the line is busy. She's probably ordering more fashion magazines or clothes online. Again.  
  
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Ax's POV  
  
Wow. That Ms. Applegate is a good writer. It was so cool how she made me into an alien! It was hysterical when I'd act weird at the Cinnabon and people would come up to me and ask, "Are you Ax? Omigod!" And I'd say, "Yeah. Want my autograph?" This is JUST the thing to launch my singing career! Thanks, Ms. Applegate!  
  
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Melissa Chapman's POV  
  
Cool, I was in a book series! Sure, I wasn't in all of them, but it was fun nonetheless. I didn't understand, though, why Marco's aunt didn't mention that we were going out. Weird. I LOVE MARCO! MELISSA AND MARCO FOREVER!  
  
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Tom's POV  
  
I just read my little brother's copy of the last Animorphs book. K.A. Applegate must be a seriously disturbed person. She made Jake send Rachel to kill me! And I went down pathetically! I mean, everyone knows that I'm so much tougher than that. I could beat Rachel anytime. Although I wouldn't want to bet on it.  
  
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Principal Chapman's POV  
  
I'm so glad Katherine has ended the series. Maybe kids will start treating me normally now. I am sick of kids trying to tie me up for three days to see if I'm a controller in real life! I should sue Katherine for the emotional distress she's put me through. And the number of kidnappings by crazy students.  
  
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Review!!! 


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